It has been a while since I last wrote for Securing The Universe. Between work, moving, divorce, getting my son full-time, and life in general, I haven’t had nearly as much time to sit down and write as I used to. Considering this website has always been a mixture of cybersecurity, technology, home lab projects, reviews, and whatever else I happen to be interested in at the time, I figured my newest project was a pretty good excuse to start writing again.

No, I didn’t build another server. I bought another BMW.

More specifically, I traded my 2017 BMW 750i xDrive for a modified 2024 BMW M340i xDrive. Depending on how you look at it, this was either the result of several weeks of research into reliability, performance, depreciation, aftermarket support, and local inventory, or the beginning of a pre-midlife crisis following a divorce.

I’m going with the first explanation. Mostly.

This also officially brings my old Project Sport Limo to an end. I wrote several posts about the 750i over the years, including everything from modifications and coding to repairs and the joys of owning an aging German luxury car. I loved that car, but the M340i is definitely not a limo, sport, or otherwise.

So this one needs its own name.

Welcome to Project White Noise.

The End of Project Sport Limo

My previous car was a 2017 BMW 750i xDrive, and it was easily one of my favorite vehicles I have owned. The G12 7 Series is a strange combination of an enormous luxury sedan and a legitimately fast car. Mine had BMW’s twin-turbocharged V8, xDrive, air suspension, an absurd amount of technology, and enough electronic control modules that troubleshooting it occasionally felt more like working on an enterprise network than a car.

I did a few things to that car, such as removing all resonators and replacing them with X-pipes, swapping the rear muffler to a Magnaflow open setup, adding K&N air filters and removing the charcoal ones, pushing the boost up 3 pounds via a piggyback, and coding in sport plus mode. I also did some appearance upgrades, including carbon fiber trim and a rear trunk spoiler.

That eventually became Project Sport Limo here on Securing The Universe. Below are some of my previous posts on that car:

• My New Car: A Review of the 2017 BMW 750i xDrive (Project Sport Limo)
• BMW 7-Series: DIY Rear-Seat Entertainment Package
• BMW Updates

Over the years, I used BimmerCode to change a bunch of the factory configuration, used BimmerLink for diagnostics, changed some cosmetic things, worked through repairs, and generally did what I do with most technology I own: figure out how it works and then start modifying things.

There wasn’t anything catastrophically wrong with the 750i when I traded it. The bigger issue was that the odometer had just crossed roughly 80,000 miles, and my extended warranty ended a few months ago.

Normally, 80,000 miles wouldn’t bother me much. There is, however, a significant difference between 80,000 miles on a normal car and 80,000 miles on a vehicle that originally cost somewhere around $100,000 and contains a twin-turbo V8, air suspension, power-operated everything, and enough coolant plumbing to supply a small neighborhood.

I had already dealt with some repairs over the years, including the kind that remind you of one very important rule about depreciated luxury cars:

The purchase price depreciates. The repair costs don’t.

I still loved the 750i, but I found myself wondering more and more about what ownership was going to look like between 80,000 and 100,000 miles. Eventually, I decided I’d rather sell it while it was still running well than wait around to discover which expensive component wanted to fail next.

My life had also changed considerably since I bought it. Divorce, moving back to Nebraska, different job, different commute, and generally a different chapter of life. I didn’t really need a gigantic executive sedan anymore.

I wanted something smaller.

I wanted something newer.

And, admittedly, I wanted something more fun.

If that happens to sound suspiciously like a pre-mid-life crisis, I’m choosing not to investigate further.

The Search Begins

Once I decided to replace the 750i, figuring out what I actually wanted became considerably harder than I expected. I knew I wanted something fast, preferably AWD because Nebraska winters exist, reasonably reliable, and with a strong aftermarket.

That last requirement was important because I have finally reached the point in my life where I’m self-aware enough to stop saying things like, “I’ll probably leave this one stock.“

No. I won’t. That sent me down a pretty substantial rabbit hole.

I looked at the BMW M240i, M340i, M440i, Z4 M40i, X3 M40i, Toyota GR Supra 3.0, Audi S3 and RS3, Volkswagen Golf R, Nissan Z, and a handful of fast SUVs. At various points, I was convinced I wanted almost every one of them.

The Supra was probably the biggest temptation. It has the B58, looks fantastic, has an enormous aftermarket, and would have been a completely different experience from the 750i. The problem is that it has two seats, and I’m also a dad.

Apparently children appreciate having somewhere to sit.

The M240i was another serious contender, but eventually I kept coming back to the M340i.

It seemed like the best compromise without actually feeling like a compromise. Four doors, usable back seats, xDrive, a much smaller chassis than the 750i, and BMW’s B58 inline-six. It’s already extremely fast in factory form, but there is also an enormous aftermarket if I eventually decide factory power isn’t enough.

Which, let’s be realistic, is probably going to happen eventually.

Shopping for Performance Cars in Nebraska

The next problem was actually finding one.

The performance-car market around Omaha isn’t exactly overflowing with options. Finding a regular 3 Series wasn’t difficult. Finding the right combination of M340i, xDrive, newer model year, reasonable mileage, options I wanted, and a price I was willing to pay was another story.

I started expanding my search into Iowa and surrounding states. I looked at cars in Lincoln, Omaha, Des Moines, Kansas City, and basically anywhere within a distance I could reasonably convince myself wasn’t ridiculous.

Then I’d change my mind again.

Maybe the Supra. Maybe an M240i. Maybe an X3 M40i. Maybe a Golf R.

Maybe I should make the financially responsible decision and just keep the 750i.

Five minutes later, *opens BMW inventory again.*

Eventually, I started watching BMW of Omaha’s inventory like a hawk.

Then one appeared.

The M340i That Wasn’t Really for Sale Yet

A 2024 BMW M340i xDrive suddenly appeared in the dealer’s online inventory. It had around 29,000 miles, a white exterior, red interior, and, from the limited information available, it looked like it might have some modifications. More miles than I wanted, but for an ‘achievable’ dream car that I couldn’t find any other options for, I had to pounce on the deal. Ended up getting the price down quite a bit, and when you factor in the cost of the upgrades (probably around $8,000–$13,000), I think I did pretty well.

There weren’t even proper dealer photos yet. The car hadn’t been fully processed or prepared for sale.

So naturally, I immediately drove to the dealership.

That ended up being one of the more interesting parts of buying the car because they were essentially still getting it ready when I showed up.

Then I saw it. This wasn’t a stock M340i with a cheap spoiler stuck on the trunk.

Somebody had already built the thing.

It was lowered. It had a large front lip, full side skirts, an aggressive rear diffuser, carbon-fiber mirror caps, a carbon trunk spoiler, extremely dark tint, an aftermarket intake, an Alcantara/carbon steering wheel, additional carbon interior pieces, and an aftermarket valved exhaust. Also, it had been a Texas car its whole life, so no worry of rust.

Then I found out what exhaust it had.

Akrapovič.

Okay.

Now I was interested.

The factory configuration/options shown on the sticker were:

• Alpine White
• Tacora Red Perforated SensaTec interior
• Driving Assistance Package — $700
• Parking Assistance Package — $700
  • Parking Assistant Plus
  • Active Park Distance Control
  • Surround/3D View cameras
• Premium Package — $1,350
  • Head-Up Display
  • Heated front seats
  • Heated steering wheel
• Shadowline Package — $600
  • Extended Shadowline trim
  • M Shadowline Lights
• Remote Engine Start — $300
• 19″ M Dual-Spoke Style 791M wheels in Jet Black — $600
• Harman Kardon Surround Sound — $875
• M Sport Package Pro
• Red M Sport brakes
• M Sport Differential
• M Sport Suspension
• Variable Sport Steering
• Moonroof
• Wireless charging
• Comfort Access keyless entry
• Ambient interior lighting
• BMW Curved Display

Why I Wanted the B58

The engine was one of the biggest reasons I kept coming back to the M340i during my search.

Under the hood is BMW’s B58, a turbocharged 3.0-liter inline-six that has developed a very strong reputation among BMW owners and tuners. Toyota even uses a version of the B58 in the GR Supra, which was part of the reason the Supra and M340i both remained near the top of my list.

The M340i combines the B58 with BMW’s xDrive AWD system and the ZF eight-speed automatic. That makes for an interesting combination: a completely practical four-door sedan that is much faster than a completely practical four-door sedan has any business being.

The previous owner also replaced the factory airbox with an aftermarket intake using a large performance filter and what appears to be a carbon-fiber heat shield. I see he left the original lower intake box, assuming still bringing cold air from the front of the car via factory tubing. I am not one to desire sucking in hot engine heat, so I may opt to do an enclosed Dinan setup at some point, but man, does it sound amazing.

I haven’t been able to confidently identify the manufacturer yet. I could make a guess based on pictures online, but I’d rather crawl around the car and actually find a part number before confidently announcing something that turns out to be completely wrong.

Either way, it adds considerably more intake and turbo sound.

Which brings us back to the project’s name.

White Noise.

White car. Technology reference. Turbo noises. Intake noises. Exhaust noises.

It fits.

Somebody Already Spent the Modification Money

The more I looked around the car, the more aftermarket parts I found.

Normally when I buy something, the process goes something like this: buy it, promise myself I’m going to leave it alone, research modifications “just to see what’s available,” order something inexpensive, and then six months later deliberately avoid adding up how much I’ve spent.

This time somebody else did a large portion of that work for me. While I would have loved to do it all myself like previous builds, having it already modified at the time of purchase allows me to have some peace of mind regarding warranty coverage. They sold it to me like this and approved the warranty, so I am good to go!

The biggest modification I’ve identified so far is the Akrapovič valved exhaust system with carbon tips.

The car also came with two wireless exhaust remotes.

The valves give the car two very different personalities. With everything closed, it’s still capable of behaving like a relatively civilized BMW sedan. Open the exhaust, and the B58 becomes considerably more vocal.

That adjustability is actually important because I live in an apartment while looking for a house and typically get to the gym at 5AM. I like the way the car sounds. That doesn’t necessarily mean everybody living within a quarter mile needs to participate in the experience.

The exterior modifications are extensive too. There are real carbon-fiber mirror caps, a carbon trunk spoiler, a large front lip/splitter, full side skirts, an aggressive rear diffuser/valance, quad exhaust tips, and other carbon accents.

The car is also lowered on coilovers. I haven’t identified the manufacturer yet, but visually they completely change the stance of the car. While I wouldn’t have personally lowered it (winters should be fun), I do love the look and how firmly it feels planted on the road when cornering.

Inside, the factory steering wheel has been replaced with an Alcantara M-style wheel with carbon-fiber trim, which is absolutely stunning and feels amazing.

There are additional carbon-fiber pieces throughout the interior, and combined with the Tacora Red SensaTec seats, black trim, and ambient lighting, the entire cabin feels completely different from my old 750i.

The 7 Series felt like a luxury hotel.

This feels like a cockpit.

Perfect Interior Spec

I was hunting for the red leather interior, if that was even an option, as I miss the real leather on everything and anything in the 7 Series, but I believe the Tacora Red SensaTec will hold up better to Dean’s chaos. The red and white exterior combo complements each other well, but that combination made the search much more challenging

The white exterior, black trim, carbon fiber, and red interior work incredibly well together. The 750i was much more understated. Dark exterior, traditional luxury interior, chrome trim, and generally the kind of car that could disappear into an executive parking lot.

The M340i doesn’t really do understated.

It’s white. It’s lowered. It has carbon fiber everywhere. It has quad exhaust tips. The interior is red.

I’m recently divorced. Apparently subtlety is no longer required.

The previous owner also installed some extremely dark window tint. It looks great during the day. At night, I’ve discovered that being able to see out of the windows is actually a surprisingly useful automotive feature.

I may eventually replace some of it with lighter tint.

A Seven-Year Technology Jump

One of the most interesting parts of moving from a 2017 750i to a 2024 M340i is seeing what changed technologically over those seven years.

The 750i was extremely advanced for 2017. It had digital gauges, gesture controls, cameras everywhere, a head-up display, driver-assistance technology, soft-close doors, air suspension, power-operated everything, and an almost ridiculous number of electronic systems.

In some respects, the old 750i still has more technology than the M340i. That’s what happens when you compare a flagship 7 Series with a 3 Series.

But the M340i feels like a much more modern connected device.

The curved digital display dominates the dashboard. The instrument cluster and infotainment system feel much more integrated; smartphone connectivity is essentially expected rather than a novelty, navigation is connected, the vehicle communicates with BMW’s services; and software has become a much larger part of the ownership experience.

Cars are increasingly following the same trajectory as computers and phones. Hardware isn’t necessarily the finished product anymore. Software can change functionality long after the car leaves the factory.

From an IT perspective, that’s fascinating.

Modern BMWs aren’t simply mechanical devices with a few computers added to them. They are networks of electronic control modules communicating across vehicle buses, collecting information from dozens of sensors, controlling everything from the drivetrain to interior lighting, and increasingly communicating with systems outside the vehicle.

Which naturally means one of my first thoughts was:

What can I change?

BimmerCode and BimmerLink, Round Two

This is another reason I wanted to stay with BMW.

I used BimmerCode extensively with the 750i, and I plan to do the same thing with the M340i.

BMW stores an enormous amount of vehicle behavior inside the configuration of individual electronic modules. Depending on the car and software version, that can include lighting behavior, startup settings, warning messages, displays, locking behavior, comfort features, sound settings, and dozens of other things BMW decided should work a certain way from the factory.

BimmerCode provides a relatively friendly way to change many of those values.

Then there is BimmerLink, which is more focused on diagnostics. It can read faults from individual modules, display sensor information, monitor different parameters, and generally tell you considerably more about what the car is doing than the simplified warnings presented through iDrive.

For someone who works in IT, this stuff is almost as interesting as modifying the engine.

Apparently I spend all day working with computers, networks, policies, logs, and configuration settings, then come home and relax by connecting to the computers in my car.

That sounds healthy.

I’m sure there will eventually be a dedicated Project White Noise post covering what I’ve coded and changed.

What I Gained — And What I Lost

Going directly from a 750i to an M340i makes it very obvious that newer doesn’t automatically mean better at everything.

The 750i was a flagship luxury sedan.

And it felt like one.

It was quieter, larger, softer, and significantly more comfortable. The seats were better. The back seat was enormous. The air suspension made terrible roads disappear. Everything felt heavy and substantial, and the car had an incredible ability to isolate you from whatever was happening outside.

The M340i isn’t trying to do any of that.

It feels smaller because it is considerably smaller. You hear more. You feel more. The steering responds faster, the suspension communicates more of the road, and the B58 feels like it constantly wants you to give it more throttle.

The 750i was incredibly good at hiding speed. You could look down and realize you were going considerably faster than you thought.

The M340i makes speed part of the experience.

The 750i wanted to cross Nebraska at 85 MPH without letting you know Nebraska existed.

The M340i makes you look forward to entrance ramps.

At this point in my life, that’s exactly what I wanted.

I Do Miss the 7 Series Stereo

There is one area where I immediately noticed the downgrade.

Bass.

The audio system in the M340i isn’t bad. 16 speakers, two under-seat subwoofers, and 464 watts of power should be enough for anyone. The 750i had the same number of speakers and subwoofers, but I believe it ran 600W, so maybe just adding a small amplifier to the current system would be enough.

So this will probably become the first modification I actually perform myself.

I’m considering a small amplifier and subwoofer setup integrated into the factory audio system. I don’t want to sacrifice the trunk, and I’m not trying to build something that shakes license plates three cars away. I just want the low-frequency response I became accustomed to in the 7 Series. Bavsound makes some great products, so I may opt for this model.

Of course, knowing how my projects normally work, “I’ll just add a small subwoofer” will probably somehow become an article involving wiring diagrams, signal processing, factory amplifier integration, custom mounting, and three trips to the hardware store.

Project White Noise Meets a Nebraska Winter

There is one fairly obvious problem I haven’t solved yet.

I bought an xDrive BMW, which should theoretically make a very good year-round car in Nebraska with the right tires.

Unfortunately, the previous owner also lowered it enough that the front splitter is approximately the same height as some moderately ambitious blades of grass.

AWD isn’t particularly helpful if the front of the car becomes a snowplow.

Before winter arrives, I need to identify exactly what coilovers are installed and see how much height adjustment I have available. If they’re easily adjustable, I may raise the car for winter and lower it again in the spring.

The other option is simply removing the front lip during winter.

That is probably the most logical solution.

Then there is the third option.

Buy a winter beater.

This is how car people accidentally end up owning multiple vehicles. It starts with “I don’t want to damage my splitter,” and three weeks later you’re on Facebook Marketplace at midnight trying to convince yourself that a 15-year-old SUV with 170,000 miles is actually a smart financial decision.

We’ll see.

What’s Next for Project White Noise?

Surprisingly, my immediate modification list is pretty short.

The previous owner already did many of the things I probably would have eventually done. The car has an intake. It has a very nice exhaust. It has suspension. It has the exterior pieces. It has the steering wheel. It already looks considerably more aggressive than a stock M340i.

The stereo is probably first.

The tint may get changed.

I need to figure out the suspension before winter.

And obviously I’m going to start digging through BimmerCode.

Eventually, tuning the B58 is extremely tempting. One of the reasons I specifically wanted a B58-powered BMW is the amount of performance still available in the platform. At the same time, the car is already extremely fast; I still have factory warranty coverage remaining, and right now I don’t feel like it needs more power.

That’s an unusual sentence for me to write.

We’ll revisit it in six months.

A New Project

I loved Project Sport Limo.

The 750i was exactly the car I wanted when I bought it: huge, comfortable, technologically ridiculous, surprisingly fast, and just complicated enough to keep things interesting.

But that project ran its course. At roughly 80,000 miles, I decided I’d rather remember the car fondly than eventually write a series of articles documenting increasingly expensive repairs.

The M340i represents something completely different.

It’s smaller, lighter, louder, lower, and considerably more aggressive. Instead of a twin-turbo V8 hiding inside a giant luxury sedan, I now have a turbocharged inline-six in a compact sport sedan. Instead of floating over bad roads on air suspension, I’m now watching every parking-lot entrance like it might destroy my front splitter.

And honestly, I’m having a lot more fun driving it.

My son approves too, which is probably the most important review.

What makes this particular car even more interesting is that I didn’t start with a blank slate. I essentially bought somebody else’s finished—or maybe mostly finished—project. Now I get to reverse-engineer it.

I need to identify the mystery intake and coilovers. I want to understand exactly how the Akrapovič system is configured. I want to dig through the coding options. I want to improve the stereo. Eventually I’ll probably start looking at performance modifications.

There are already several future articles hiding inside this car, and that seems fitting for Securing The Universe.

This website has always been about technology I find interesting enough to take apart, configure, modify, troubleshoot, secure, or occasionally break.

Apparently that definition now includes a 2024 BMW M340i.

The Sport Limo chapter is closed.

Project White Noise begins. Full review coming soon.